


Texting, but Make it Fashion

by GhostofBambi



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, texting fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:41:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29139462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostofBambi/pseuds/GhostofBambi
Summary: Whether or not you'd consider this meandering conversation "fashion" depends entirely upon your opinion of hooded blazers.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Comments: 41
Kudos: 385





	Texting, but Make it Fashion

**Author's Note:**

> As always, Covid doesn't exist in Happy Happy Fic Land
> 
> This little fluffy absolutely-zero-plot oneshot is my way of saying thank you to all of my new friends from the Algernom de Plume bookclub, which has become such a wonderful online community that I am so happy and blessed to be part of. I love you guys so much and you brighten my days, and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being such a gorgeous, friendly, supportive, talented, lovely bunch of people <3

**Instagram @carelesswhiska**  
**Saturday 28th March 2020, 2:34 a.m.**

**Messages > 1 request**

**Lily Evans**  
Hey . _3m_

*****

**Lily Evans**  
Hey  
Sorry to bother you so late, but can I ask you a weird question?

 ** _Accept_** _Reject Block_

*****

**James Potter**  
have you been hacked?

 **Lily Evans**  
What?

 **James Potter**  
are you a hacker?

 **Lily Evans**  
Why would I be a hacker?

 **James Potter**  
because lily evans wouldn't randomly message me on instagram at half past two in the morning to ask me a weird question

 **Lily Evans**  
Have you considered that it's a weird question BECAUSE I'm randomly messaging you on Instagram at half past two in the morning?

 **James Potter**  
yes  
have YOU considered that lily evans wouldn't contact me at all?  
of course not, you're shut up in a basement in nigeria somewhere pretending to be a prince and asking people to give you their bank details so that they can "get their immediate wire transfer of eleventy million bars of gold for property exchange escaping notice of governments and arranged by my associate mr lawyer whose name will change three times in this email"  
not today, hacker  
on THIS day you have been thwarted

 **Lily Evans**  
Okay well, thank you for the novel?  
But since I am Lily Evans, have you considered that you're wrong?

 **James Potter**  
no  
it's all over the second you doubt yourself  
that's what my mum says and what my cat sometimes suggests to me when he assumes his judgement post and fixes me with his deadly glare

 **Lily Evans**  
His what now?

 **James Potter**  
lily evans would not be awake at half past two in the morning

 **Lily Evans**  
And you've arrived at that conclusion how, exactly?  
Via your intimate knowledge of my sleep schedule?

 **James Potter**  
excuse me do i LOOK like a twilight vampire to you?  
i get that you're a middle-aged bloke in nigeria who doesn't know me personally but as you can see from my selfies my skin has NOT been blanched by the sickly pallor of the forever undead  
yes my mate's has been, but sirius just looks like that  
and lily evans wouldn't be awake at half past two in the morning because she's very sensible  
granted i don't know her very well but i'm pretty sure she drinks 8 glasses of water a day and colour codes her notes and that is NOT the kind of person who stays awake until half past two and then messages me. randomly.

 **Lily Evans**  
A) You might not look like a Twilight vampire but YOU SURE ARE AS DRAMATIC AS ONE.  
B) Speaking as one of the unnaturally pale, it's not my fault that melanin was denied to me by my genetics so maybe ease off with the insults? Just because Sirius sits around in his room drinking blood and reading Proust doesn't mean the rest of us have to.

 **James Potter**  
it's irn-bru and dostoevsky but i guess a two-bit hacker wouldn't have a way to know those details

 **Lily Evans**  
So SHOOT ME I don't know Sirius very well, we've had at max one conversation and I'm pretty sure it revolved entirely around his absolute conviction that my being half-Irish meant that I could give him secret tips and tricks to brewing poteen.  
Which, by the way, might as well be paint stripper from what my grandad says, so if he ever offers you a sip, do yourself a favour and clean a toilet with it instead.  
And anyway shut up.  
You obviously don't know me either, if you think I routinely drink the recommended daily amount of water and never stay up past midnight, do you?

 **James Potter**  
the colour coding thing is true

 **Lily Evans**  
Big round of applause for you seeing me in class even one time.  
But by all means, shit on ME for not having a functional working knowledge of Sirius Black's beverage preferences.

 **James Potter**  
firstly i would never SHIT on you jesus christ keep your perversions and your nonexistent gold bars to yourself prince lagos  
no "evans" i don't know you  
and you don't know me  
hence you would NEVER contact me like this  
ergo

 **Lily Evans**  
Ergo I just DID contact you!

 **James Potter**  
WHY

 **Lily Evans**  
Because I wanted to check that you were alive!

 **James Potter**  
…………  
wat

 **Lily Evans**  
Oh my god.  
It's nothing and I immediately regret doing this.  
You're right, I am a hacker, live long and prosper.

 **James Potter**  
a hacker would never admit to being a hacker  
nor would their messages feature such grammatical excellence  
also they wouldn't speak to me like a human  
GASP  
you ARE lily evans?

 **Lily Evans**  
Oh my god Potter don't you DARE  
After ALL OF THAT?

 **James Potter**  
NO WAIT  
WHY WERE YOU CHECKING THAT I WAS ALIVE?  
who the hell checks that someone is alive at half two in the morning??  
is there a reason?  
are you psychic? is that it?  
is someone trying to kill me?  
is it snape? i could take him  
is a meteor heading towards my house has my name been written in an enchanted notebook somewhere what?  
i couldn't take a meteor, evans!  
not a whole one!  
you have to tell me i'm freaked out!

 **Lily Evans**  
Oh my god, Potter.  
It's not even that big of a deal!

 **James Potter**  
i will be the judge of that as i potentially take my last breath thank you

 **Lily Evans**  
I had a dream about you, okay? I had a dream that you were dead and it was very lucid and very weird and felt very REAL and then when I woke up in the middle of the night I was out of it and I couldn't remember if it had happened or not and I couldn't get back to sleep because I was worried that it had so I decided to find your Instagram and send you a message to check. 

**James Potter**  
at half past two in the morning?  
you couldn't have waited?

 **Lily Evans**  
You're right. This is clearly my fault for being too concerned about your welfare to get back to sleep.  
Next time I dream about your untimely demise I'll just laugh and flip back over.

 **James Potter**  
no i mean, you were so worried about ME that you couldn't wait to get in touch with me and check?

 **Lily Evans**  
It was a really vivid dream.

 **James Potter**  
yeah you said  
but it was about me  
not booth or anything  
and you were still worried

 **Lily Evans**  
Are you saying it wouldn't worry you if one of our classmates bit the dust?

 **James Potter**  
how did it happen?

 **Lily Evans**  
What?

 **James Potter**  
my death  
was it really tragic?  
was I blown away by dwayne the rock johnson?

 **Lily Evans**  
I think that if you'd been blown away by The Rock I'd have somehow figured out that it hadn't really happened, Potter.

 **James Potter**  
do you know he has a clause in his movie contracts that says he can never lose a fight?

 **Lily Evans**  
What?

 **James Potter**  
dwayne the rock johnson

 **Lily Evans**  
Yeah, that much I understood. Exactly how is that relevant?

 **James Potter**  
nothing i just thought it was stupid  
if i was dwayne the rock johnson i would not be so worried about how my masculinity is perceived that i refused to lose fights in movies

 **Lily Evans**  
Why do you keep referring to him by his full name AND his ring name?

 **James Potter**  
to pay him the proper respect

 **Lily Evans**  
Whilst calling him stupid?

 **James Potter**  
he's the people's champion, not the people's genius  
anyway how do you know what a ring name is?

 **Lily Evans**  
Because I know a lot of things.

 **James Potter**  
what things

 **Lily Evans**  
Enough to know that the People's Elbow is a dumb-as-shit finisher and also that YOU are clearly alive and well, goodnight.

 **James Potter**  
no no no don't go!

 **Lily Evans**  
????

 **James Potter**  
it's just  
you didn't explain!

 **Lily Evans**  
Explain what?

 **James Potter**  
how i died

 **Lily Evans**  
Why do you want to know that?

 **James Potter**  
it would be nice to have details

 **Lily Evans**  
NICE?

 **James Potter**  
like  
was it very tragic?  
was there blood?  
did anyone cry over my broken body and swear to enact revenge?  
did i have last words?  
and if so, were they "i agree that the people's elbow is a dumb-as-shit finisher" ?

 **Lily Evans**  
No, they were, "Sweet-chin music is the best finisher."

 **James Potter**  
REALLY?

 **Lily Evans**  
NO

 **James Potter**  
HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT WRESTLING FINISHERS?

 **Lily Evans**  
I didn't dream ABOUT your death, I just KNEW that you were dead in the dream.  
I don't know if I was told or what, I just knew, and other people were reacting to it and it was very sad, so I came here to check on you and IMMEDIATELY got accused of stealing old ladies' pensions from West Africa.

 **James Potter**  
i'm sorry i didn't realise!  
i've never talked to you before  
not properly  
or about non school things

 **Lily Evans**  
That's not even slightly true.

 **James Potter**  
???

 **Lily Evans**  
Last Christmas in Borough Market?  
I stopped at Kappacasein to buy raclette and you were there and you were wearing a hooded blazer and you made a joke about how cornichons watch Pickleodeon because they're "baby" gherkins?

 **James Potter**  
i  
did not think that you'd specifically remembered that

 **Lily Evans**  
Why wouldn't I? I have an excellent memory for small details.

 **James Potter**  
because  
i don't know  
it took like two minutes?

 **Lily Evans**  
Yeah, and?  
It was a really nice blazer and a semi-hilarious joke about gherkins.  
And here I thought we'd bonded.  
Another dream dashed, alas.

 **James Potter**  
right  
ah  
i feel dizzy all of a sudden brb

 **Lily Evans**  
Brb from where? Phones are portable.  
Wait, you're not actually dying, are you?  
Because that would be the worst kind of ironic.  
The police would assume I had something to do with it, these messages are too timely.  
From an objective standpoint, it's really going to look like I was messaging you on Instagram to see if the job was done.  
I'm going to be really, really pissed off if you're dead.

 **James Potter**  
i'm alive

 **Lily Evans**  
Are you feeling better now?

 **James Potter**  
yeah  
had to consult with an associate about an urgent matter

 **Lily Evans**  
An associate?

 **James Potter**  
sirius

 **Lily Evans**  
Ah, Count Dracula himself.

 **James Potter**  
doesn't matter, he was asleep

 **Lily Evans**  
Unreasonable of him, when it's coming up on 3 a.m.

 **James Potter**  
then he told me to bugger off when i woke him up

 **Lily Evans**  
*when you knocked on his coffin

 **James Potter**  
probably because he's an inconsiderate SHIT, THANKS FOR NOTHING MATE

 **Lily Evans**  
You know he can't hear you just because you're typing in caps, right?

 **James Potter**  
he can feel the energy

 **Lily Evans**  
In his sleep?

 **James Potter**  
he can feel it

 **Lily Evans**  
Why were YOU awake, anyway?

 **James Potter**  
because i'm watching an intense documentary on the restorative properties of the earth's soil and the role of regenerative agriculture in combating climate change

 **Lily Evans**  
Oh right. Cool.

 **James Potter**  
it's very informative

 **Lily Evans**  
I'll take your word for it.

 **James Potter**  
this is a hot button issue, evans  
we should all be prepared for any eventuality  
are we doing enough as a collective? as individuals?  
have you tested your carbon footprint? it matters!

 **Lily Evans**  
It's 2:52 in the morning, mate.

 **James Potter**  
the planet doesn't care that it's 2:52 in the morning, evans  
its march towards destruction waits for no man  
or woman

 **Lily Evans**  
Shit sorry.  
I'll step down from my role as CEO of ExxonMobil immediately.

 **James Potter**  
that's all i ask, thank you

 **Lily Evans**  
So what IS the role of regenerative agriculture in combating climate change, anyway?

 **James Potter**  
um

 **Lily Evans**  
Um?

 **James Potter**  
right  
did not think you would ask questions

 **Lily Evans**  
What?

 **James Potter**  
i'm  
ah  
watching finding nemo

 **Lily Evans**  
LMAO  
WHAT

 **James Potter**  
i thought the documentary would sound more impressive!

 **Lily Evans**  
You're an absolute fruit loop.  
My god.  
Are you always like this?

 **James Potter**  
ME always like this?  
you're the one who slid into my dms because you thought i was dead!

 **Lily Evans**  
I didn't slide into your DMs!  
I walked!  
At a sedate pace!

 **James Potter**  
in a panic!

 **Lily Evans**  
Because I thought you were DEAD!

 **James Potter**  
yeah but it's not like you dreamed that booth died, is it?  
we're not mates  
you wouldn't lose anything important if i was worm food  
except for stupid jokes about pickles with shite french names, apparently

 **Lily Evans**  
And on that basis you think I'm here looking for YOUR baby pickle?

 **James Potter**  
BABY?

 **Lily Evans**  
Yeah damn you caught me, I dreamed you were dead and it made me sooooooo horny oh oh oh.  
Please lie exceptionally still while I satisfy myself.

 **James Potter**  
it is just  
an expression  
i do not think  
i would never dare assume

 **Lily Evans**  
An expression that MEANS DMing someone with romantic and/or sexual intentions!

 **James Potter**  
well i did not know that okay!  
i just thought it was a fun phrase the kids were using these days!

 **Lily Evans**  
Lol "the kids"  
What age are you again?

 **James Potter**  
eighteen  
but i don't see how age is relevant

 **Lily Evans**  
You're eighteen and you don't understand the concept of sliding into DMs?

 **James Potter**  
and believe me i am aware that you're more likely to lust over a hooded blazer than you would be to lust over me  
i have embarrassed myself enough for one evening  
thank you for being concerned enough by my totally imagined demise to contact me and make sure that i was alive  
i will let you go to sleep now goodnight

 **Lily Evans**  
Okay?

 **James Potter**  
deepest apologies  
and condolences i guess

 **Lily Evans**  
Potter, you're not really dead.

 **James Potter**  
right  
yes

 **Lily Evans**  
Also

 **James Potter**  
also???

 **Lily Evans**  
That documentary thing.  
Did you just pull that description out of your head? Out of nowhere?

 **James Potter**  
i mean, yeah  
sort of?  
a few days ago my dad was going on about a soil documentary that's coming out on netflix soon so i suppose i was half listening  
must have been, if i remember it

 **Lily Evans**  
That's……sort of brilliant.

 **James Potter**  
if you're really into soil i guess

 **Lily Evans**  
I'm not talking about the documentary, I'm talking about your brain.  
Your brain is sort of brilliant.

 **James Potter**  
um

 **Lily Evans**  
To have come up with that out of nowhere so immediately and made it sound convincing?  
That was so quick!  
I didn't doubt you for even a second.

 **James Potter**  
you would have if you knew me, i promise  
in person i am the worst liar in the world

 **Lily Evans**  
Yeah, I know.

 **James Potter**  
excuse me HOW

 **Lily Evans**  
You tell me that you're a shit liar, I agree that you're a shit liar and the caps come out. Explain?

 **James Potter**  
explain why you think i'm a shit liar first

 **Lily Evans**  
Okay well, one, because you could have Googled an answer to my question about that documentary in half a minute and I wouldn't have known any better, but you immediately caved under pressure.  
Two, because I've seen you trying to lie in class.

 **James Potter**  
my cat DID rip my essay to shreds!  
on my life! i swear! i swear on everything!  
he only eats purina one salmon and wholegrain cat food but tesco was out so i had to get him the chicken and he was PISSED, it was carnage and i DON'T appreciate you bringing it up again

 **Lily Evans**  
You're the one who brought it up again, mate, not me.  
Anyway, I believe the essay story.

 **James Potter**  
he was vomiting paper for a week HOW can you expect me to write a new essay in those circumstances??  
oh

 **Lily Evans**  
What I DON'T believe is that he ever ran away.

 **James Potter**  
EXCUSE ME?

 **Lily Evans**  
Binns might have bought that crap, but I didn't.

 **James Potter**  
so you'll believe that my cat destroyed an essay in a vengeful hunt for salmon but you won't believe that he went missing for a few hours?

 **Lily Evans**  
Basically.

 **James Potter**  
why?

 **Lily Evans**  
Because the runaway story totally lacked conviction.  
You wouldn't look Binns straight in the face, like you'd already been caught in the lie.  
It's the way you hold yourself when you're talking.  
Your shoulders tense up. I can just tell.

 **James Potter**  
that is extremely  
very ridiculous  
and unfair

 **Lily Evans**  
Tell me I'm wrong.

 **James Potter**  
incredibly ridiculous  
and insulting

 **Lily Evans**  
Yeah, but I'm not wrong tho.

 **James Potter**  
why do you sit around in class watching me and making close observations?

 **Lily Evans**  
Why do YOU make so much effort to draw attention to yourself in class when I am trying to pay attention to the lesson?  
If you spend thirteen years in school with someone and they show off in the middle of class at LEAST once a day, you start to learn things about them, whether you like it or not.

 **James Potter**  
you just have to have an answer for everything, don't you?

 **Lily Evans**  
And you don't, Greta Thunberg?

 **James Potter**  
i might have watched that documentary one day  
you don't know  
and  
i've learned stuff from watching finding nemo too

 **Lily Evans**  
Like what?  
That you shouldn't demonise sharks?

 **James Potter**  
that, and that you should NEVER GIVE UP

 **Lily Evans**  
Okay but the shark thing

 **James Potter**  
NEVER GIVE UP

 **Lily Evans**  
I strongly suspect that in actuality you learned that from John Cena.

 **James Potter**  
and would that be so wrong?  
john cena is an inspiring man  
he probably loves finding nemo  
have you seen his twitter account? it's nothing but inspirational quotes and nobody knows what the fuck is going on  
i can get behind that as a lifestyle choice

 **Lily Evans**  
At least you've not lengthened his name to John "The Doctor of Thuganomics" Cena, I guess.  
Minus the caps and punctuation because you apply wild rules to sentences???

 **James Potter**  
hey can we get back to the part where you said i had a brilliant brain?  
you know  
before you started slinging your arrows at my sentence structure?  
i liked that part  
i was on board with that part

 **Lily Evans**  
Wouldn't you rather get back to Nemo?  
And more importantly, to sleep?

 **James Potter**  
maybe  
but

 **Lily Evans**  
But what?

 **James Potter**  
it's just  
we never talk at school  
but now we're talking like it's something we do all the time  
it's weird

 **Lily Evans**  
Is it?

 **James Potter**  
not really?

 **Lily Evans**  
Do you think the "not really" part is what's weird?

 **James Potter**  
think so  
but it's fun, yeah?

 **Lily Evans**  
I did notice that it was fun.

 **James Potter**  
so you know  
i don't HAVE to go to bed yet  
because like  
who knows when you'll next dream about my untimely, tragic and handsome death and check to see if i'm alive?

 **Lily Evans**  
Tragic and excuse me what????

 **James Potter**  
if i can't die handsomely i won't die at all

 **Lily Evans**  
I'm mean, I'm not sure that's how that works?

 **James Potter**  
i won't die AT ALL and that is final

 **Lily Evans**  
Also, we don't need to wait until the next time I dream about you dying to talk to each other?

 **James Potter**  
so what am i supposed to do?  
just walk up and say hello in school?  
in public?  
how does one even do that?

 **Lily Evans**  
You walk up and say, "Hello."

 **James Potter**  
seems fake

 **Lily Evans**  
Saying hello seems fake?

 **James Potter**  
hello by itself?  
what no follow up?  
the unseasoned chicken of greetings?  
with all your friends there?

 **Lily Evans**  
Well I'm sorry that I'm not the bloody royal speech writer, Potter.

 **James Potter**  
not a prince  
will accept the compliment tho

 **Lily Evans**  
You know I WOULD say hello back, right?  
Why are you acting like talking to me is so bloody scary?

 **James Potter**  
so how would you go about curating the perfect party playlist?

 **Lily Evans**  
Excuse me

 **James Potter**  
why? you didn't burp

 **Lily Evans**  
You just pointedly ignored my question?

 **James Potter**  
did i?

 **Lily Evans**  
Potter

 **James Potter**  
the thing is, this playlist thing is kind of pressing  
and i understand that your thing is pressing too but i am on a deadline here and time is of the essence

 **Lily Evans**  
Hence you were watching Finding Nemo in your pyjamas?

 **James Potter**  
for thematic inspiration and i'm wearing briefs actually

 **Lily Evans**  
So you're attending an under the sea themed event and it is suddenly right-at-this-moment vital that said event occupies the majority of your attention even though you've happily spent the past half hour talking about Dwayne The Rock Johnson and feigning an obsessive interest in regenerative agriculture? Whilst dressed in nothing but briefs?

 **James Potter**  
although it makes me happy that you used his legal name, why was it pertinent to mention my briefs?

 **Lily Evans**  
I don't KNOW, James, you tell me!

 **James Potter**  
okay first of all  
you said i have a brilliant brain and you're not allowed to take that back NO MATTER WHAT  
and

 **Lily Evans**  
……the fuck? 

**James Potter**  
secondly  
i may be  
giving a party

 **Lily Evans**  
"Giving" a party?  
Who says "giving a party" in this day and age?  
What are you, a Werther's Original? A waspy American? The eccentric old millionaire in an Agatha Christie mystery novel?  
Are you going to summon your mates to a windswept manor on the moors for a lively evening of gimlets and bridge until one of them faceplants at the dinner table and dies of arsenic poisoning, but with an oceanic twist? 

**James Potter**  
what would be the oceanic twist?  
and what is bridge?

 **Lily Evans**  
Idk, someone else gets stabbed with a trident, I'm not good off the cuff.

 **James Potter**  
i think  
i think you're spectacular off the cuff

 **Lily Evans**  
Um  
Wow?

 **James Potter**  
and if you must know  
i am an eccentric  
YOUNG  
millionaire-adjacent  
birthday boy

 **Lily Evans**  
OH  
It's your birthday??

 **James Potter**  
the party's for my birthday  
it's not finding nemo themed or ocean themed or even themed at all and i don't know why i said otherwise, rn i'm sleep-deprived and slightly terrified

 **Lily Evans**  
Of being stabbed by a trident?

 **James Potter**  
yeah  
sure  
let's say that's what it is

 **Lily Evans**  
When is it?

 **James Potter**  
my birthday or the party?

 **Lily Evans**  
Both?

 **James Potter**  
um  
technically today?

 **Lily Evans**  
Technically?

 **James Potter**  
so my actual birthday was yesterday but i haven't slept so it's ongoing i guess  
and the party is tonight

 **Lily Evans**  
Oh

 **James Potter**  
granted it doesn't sound as cool as yours

 **Lily Evans**  
Oh yeah. Sure.  
Not as cool as murder.

 **James Potter**  
and whatever bridge is

 **Lily Evans**  
LOL

 **James Potter**  
but i guess i need to come up with a playlist fast because if i had my way it would be careless whisper fifteen times followed by the entire little mermaid soundtrack and then sirius would try to stick his finger in my bellybutton or recite french prepositions, both of which he knows i hate because he's just a dick like that

 **Lily Evans**  
I mean, it's your party, I say tell Sirius to deal with life and do what you want.  
Also, happy birthday?

 **James Potter**  
thanks

 **Lily Evans**  
And I'm sorry that I brought it down by dreaming that you died???  
Talk about bad timing!

 **James Potter**  
i know, right?  
when i blew out my candles and wished that you'd talk to me, i should have taken the birthday fairy more seriously when she said "by any means necessary?"

 **Lily Evans**  
Is THAT why a woman in a sparkly tiara tried to kidnap me earlier?!

 **James Potter**  
goddamn!  
i'll have a word with her when she brings me that lock of your hair later

 **Lily Evans**  
Whatever you need to get that love potion brewing.

 **James Potter**  
hahaha

 **Lily Evans**  
LOL  
So anyway

 **James Potter**  
yeah anyway look i'm keeping you talking and you were just trying to check that i was alive and it's late and you have sleep/daily water consumption/hair regrowth to catch up on so i'll let you go  
thanks for checking in

 **Lily Evans**  
Oh, okay.  
Yeah, don't worry about it.  
Night, then?

 **James Potter**  
night :)

*****

**Instagram @rubyraptor**  
**Saturday 28th March 2020, 4:02 a.m.**

**Messages > 1 new**

**James Potter**  
so like

*****

**James Potter**  
so like  
you're probably asleep now and i'm the weirdo bothering you at four in the morning but  
since we were on the subject of weird questions earlier  
i sort of have one

 **Lily Evans**  
I'd love to

 **James Potter**  
wouldasf  
what???  
wait  
what?

 **Lily Evans**  
Oh my god I'm a moron I'm sorry that was so premature I'm a clod I had it typed out and then you didn't even ask and then I was pressing send out of nowhere even though I was telling myself NOT to press send my hand just sort of did it by itself???  
I'm not making sense.  
Please ignore me and finish your question.

 **James Potter**  
um  
i think you just answered it?

 **Lily Evans**  
Oh

 **James Potter**  
you couldn't sleep either?

 **Lily Evans**  
Well???  
Would it make sense to say that if there's an instant messaging equivalent to caffeine, then I think I've had an accidental overdose?

 **James Potter**  
oh  
so it's not just me

 **Lily Evans**  
I don't have a present for you though?

 **James Potter**  
yeah no that's REALLY not a problem  
i just want you to, y'know  
bring yourself?

 **Lily Evans**  
I can definitely bring myself.

 **James Potter**  
and a friend! i mean if you want  
you could bring booth, i like her  
as a person, i mean  
remus likes her too but in the romantic sense, so

 **Lily Evans**  
Yeah, she likes him back.  
In the romantic sense.

 **James Potter**  
so they fancy each other and we

 **Lily Evans**  
Also

 **James Potter**  
also?

 **Lily Evans**  
A lot also?

 **James Potter**  
yeah  
oh my god a lot also  
which is, yeah  
good

 **Lily Evans**  
Really good.

 **James Potter**  
we're just doing everyone a favour  
everyone involved in this. immediate circle.

 **Lily Evans**  
Definitely. Yeah. Matchmaking. Have heard it's a thing.

 **James Potter**  
like a public service, really  
getting those two crazy kids together

 **Lily Evans**  
Yeah, and you know who'd be proud of us?

 **James Potter**  
dwayne the rock johnson?

 **Lily Evans**  
I was going to say the jabroni-beating, pie-eating, high-flying, elbow-dropping, trailblazing, eyebrow-raising, step off the break, put your foot on the gas, always ready to whoop some ass, people's champ The Rock.  
But sure, if you want to half-ass it.

 **James Potter**  
…………  
you're brilliant  
honestly just  
and you're so pretty and i like  
shit  
hi

 **Lily Evans**  
Hi

 **James Potter**  
i like you  
can i say that?

 **Lily Evans**  
I like you too and I'm pretty sure you can?  
And not that it needs to be said, but I'm really glad that I slid into your DMs.  
(romantically, full disclosure)

 **James Potter**  
i'm so glad i perished in your dream!  
(tragically? can you have a romantic death?)

 **Lily Evans**  
I'm so glad that you're actually alive!

 **James Potter**  
you're amazing!

 **Lily Evans**  
You're alive!

 **James Potter**  
and you're coming to my party!

 **Lily Evans**  
Where you will be wearing that blazer!

 **James Potter**  
will i?

 **Lily Evans**  
Please?  
I think I melted that raclette with body heat alone.

 **James Potter**  
i am ironing it i'm ironing it RIGHT NOW


End file.
